Thanks to the encouragement of a couple of good friends, I am going to try my hand at blogging. While I do not consider myself a writer, I do feel inspired from time to time to write about what God is teaching me. I feel I have a lot of things to process and since I don’t have anyone to watch my kids while I go to therapy, you all get to be my therapists:-) This time of transition started back in April when the possibility of a move came up. A close friend encouraged me to write about what I would miss most about Kansas City. A lot of you have already read this, but it’s a good reminder for me to retrace the path that God prepared for me during that time and a promise that he is guiding me still. Thanks for reading!
I’ve called Kansas City “home” for most of my life. In the past we’ve moved away for temporary jobs knowing we’d return to Kansas City. Now, we’re facing another move but this time returning to Kansas City isn’t likely. As I prepare to move this time I think about the things in Kansas City that I will miss. Good BBQ, fun sports teams, the Plaza lights. I like being familiar with this city. It’s nice having family close, we’re surrounded by awesome community, and a great church. All those great things make up a very comfortable life. It’s safe, easy, predictable. The downfall with a comfortable life is that it can hold you captive. It can be too easy to say no to change. We can be too focused on the good we have that we miss out on the best God wants to give us. When we start clinging to earthly treasures, that is what consumes our hearts.
Not long ago I found myself holding too tightly to the wrong things in life. I couldn’t imagine leaving our house, our neighborhood, our unworried lifestyle. But little by little, God began removing pieces of my routine. It was as if he were showing me that I could be even happier when I opened my grasp of all the earthly things that I had been bound to. Psalms 39: 6-7 says, “We are merely moving shadows, and all our busy rushing ends in nothing. We heap up wealth, not knowing who will spend it. And so, Lord, where do I put my hope? My only hope is in you.” I don’t want the “wealth” that I am heaping up to bind my heart and my hope. I want the freedom to step out in faith and not worry about the things I’m leaving behind. It is exhilarating and terrifying to forgo the predictable and to start over. I have been encouraged to put down the easy, mapped out way of life and courageously step into the unknown. When we step out of our comfort zones, God can use us in ways we never imagined.
My prayer during this time is that I will understand that where my treasure is, there my heart will be also. Strange things can surface when we don’t keep our hearts in check. I want to set aside my agenda and my expectations so that I can be fully present in what God has for me. I want to be focusing on building up treasures and wealth where moth and rust do not destroy. Because in the end, that is all that matters. I have no idea what California has in store for me, but I am praying that my heart will be ready to embrace the goodness that God has to offer. I’m praying for courage to be obedient to His will.
Box by box our earthly treasures have been packed away and the “sold” sign in the front yard is a steady reminder that these things do not define me. Freed from the clutter of life for a brief time, I’m heading into a new adventure focused on what God is unfolding in front of me, for my family and myself. Eventually we’ll settle into our new life in Los Angeles and be surrounded by new people and our possessions once again. My hope is that we are a family who can stay focused on God through the thick and thin of life. We want to be consumed by God and his people, not things or the comforts I’ve clung to in the past.