Can I be honest with you? My summer isn’t going exactly as I had pictured. Before school finished, I had the summer all planned out. I was going to be the cool, laid-back mom who went with the flow and wasn’t strict on bedtime. We were going to have quality family time, making lots of memories. Then… we had a fun, but exhausting family trip- 10 days of ‘quality family time’.
I became a referee, constantly breaking up arguments between my kids. It took me a solid week to get caught up on sleep. (Here’s another confession; I cannot function without sleep. I am a horrible version of myself when I don’t get enough rest.) Then, just as I thought things were on the upswing, my 7 year-old started waking up several times a night, too afraid to sleep. Why???
So I slipped down into a cycle of self-pity, followed by a round of regret. I regret that I try to steal another hour of sleep instead of getting up and having a quiet time. I regret that I use harsh words with my kids because of my lack of sleep (that they caused). I regret that I sit at home instead of going for that run. The problem with self-pity is that it’s completely self-centered. I was so focused on my feelings that I wasn’t balancing it with truth.
So I spent some time in the Truth, letting it wash over me and remind me that this is just a season. I don’t have the answer on how to cure night-time scares and I don’t know when it will pass. But I do know I will look back on him waking up and remember it as a phase, just like so many others. Even if these circumstances are out of my control, how I choose to handle them is completely up to me. I can stop my pity-party and choose to enjoy the rest of the summer. I can start fresh tomorrow and forgo the regrets. I can apologize for my words and choose better ones.
This is the beauty of grace. Even when we have been consumed with ourselves, God is quick to forgive and welcome us back with open arms. I view this as my midsummer reset, a perfect opportunity to readjust my focus. I am so glad that God’s love is new and fresh each day.